When the Holidays Hurt

A Letter to Everyone Just Trying to Survive December

They call it the most wonderful time of the year, but for a lot of people, December feels more like an endurance test than a celebration.

Some of our closest friends are facing the end of their marriage this holiday season. They’re trying to navigate family gatherings, questions from their kids, the empty chair at the table. So, while the rest of the world is posting matching pajama photos and talking about the magic of Christmas, they will just be trying to survive the next conversation. Watching them carry this weight into December has broken something open in me. Everyone else is ramping up for joy, and they’re trying to figure out how to breathe.

Maybe your December doesn’t look just like theirs. Maybe it’s grief, or estrangement, or a crisis of faith that has you feeling untethered. Maybe it’s chronic illness, financial strain, or the exhausting work of pretending everything is fine when it’s not. The details are different, but the weight is the same. And the expectation that you’l…