Oozing Hatred
What the Squeeze Test Reveals About Character
A Special Friday Edition of Becoming Mainline
I was sitting at my desk, squeezing my Nee Doh cube between my fingers, feeling that satisfying resistance, when it happened. The thing just burst. One moment I was enjoying the tactile pleasure of compression, the next moment I had sticky gel oozing between my fingers. I stared at my hands covered in this translucent goop, in disbelief that I had squeezed it too hard.
The Fascination
I’m genuinely obsessed with these sensory cubes. There’s something deeply satisfying about the way they compress and spring back, the way they shift and morph under pressure. I own several of them, and I tend to fidget with them during meetings or when I’m trying to focus. People probably think I’m crazy. But there’s something about the tactile feedback, the way the cube responds to pressure without breaking, that I find comforting. Or at least, that’s what I thought until mine exploded in my hands.
When Pressure Reveals
The thing is, the cube didn’t fail because it was defective. It failed because I applied too much pressure. And when it burst, what came out was exactly what had been inside all along. I just couldn’t see it until the container gave way. The gel was always there. The pressure just revealed it.
I thought about this recently when Donald Trump posted about Rob Reiner on Truth Social.
The Abundance of the Heart
Jesus said it plainly in Luke 6:45.
“The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil, for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”
This isn’t complicated theology. It’s observation. When you squeeze a person, when life applies pressure, when things don’t go their way, what’s really inside them is what comes out.
Growing up, I was taught that character is what you do when no one is watching. That’s true enough. But I think there’s another test that’s just as revealing. Character is what comes out when you’re squeezed. When you’re criticized. When you’re opposed. When you don’t get your way. That’s when the container breaks and we see what’s actually been inside all along.
The Pattern of Oozing
The thing that breaks my heart is that this isn’t new. Trump’s rhetoric hasn’t suddenly become hateful. It’s been hateful all along. The mockery of a handicap reporter. The attacks on immigrants. The contempt for women. The vitriol toward anyone who opposes him. We’ve watched this pattern for years now. Every time pressure is applied, every time someone pushes back, every time reality doesn’t bend to his will, the same thing oozes out. Hate. Contempt. Cruelty.
And yet we keep being surprised. We keep thinking that maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time the pressure will reveal something else. But the gel was always inside the cube.
What This Means for Us
I’m thinking about this as a pastor, as someone who has watched too many leaders fail the squeeze test. I’m thinking about church splits and pastoral failures and moments when pressure revealed what had been carefully contained. I’m thinking about how we choose our leaders and what we’re willing to excuse and what we tell ourselves about character.
The Bible gives us other images for this same truth. Jesus talked about trees and fruit. You know a tree by what it produces. James talked about springs. Does fresh water and brackish water flow from the same source? The answer is no. What comes out reveals what’s inside.
My Own Oozing
But here’s the thing I have to confess. I don’t always like what comes out of me when I’m squeezed either. When my computer freezes in the middle of writing something important, what oozes out isn’t patience. It’s frustration that borders on rage at an inanimate object that can’t fight back. When my kids are pushing boundaries and I’m already stressed, what comes out isn’t always the gentle pastoral voice I use with congregants. Sometimes it’s sharp words and a tone that makes me regret it later. When I feel disrespected or dismissed, when someone questions my judgment or my leadership, what bubbles up isn’t always grace.
The squeeze test reveals what I’ve been storing, and I’m not always proud of the inventory. I’ve had to ask myself what I’m filling my heart with when things are calm, because that’s what’s going to come spilling out when the pressure hits. Am I storing patience or frustration? Grace or resentment? Compassion or contempt? The cube always reveals its contents eventually.
The Lament
And that’s what grieves me most about where we are. We’re watching in real time as a leader fails the squeeze test over and over again, and half the country has decided it doesn’t matter. The oozing hate is explained away, justified, minimized, or you hear the classic “what a bout’s”. We’re told to look at policies instead of character. We’re told that what comes out under pressure doesn’t reveal what’s inside. We’re told that the squeeze test doesn’t count.
But it does count. It’s always counted. Because what comes out when we’re squeezed is what we’ve been carrying all along. And when we excuse it in our leaders, when we minimize it, when we say character doesn’t matter as long as we get the policies we want, we’re training our own hearts to store the wrong things.
A Different Way
I think about Jesus in Gethsemane, squeezed by the knowledge of what was coming, and what came out was prayer. “Not my will, but yours.” I think about him on the cross, squeezed by pain and betrayal, and what came out was forgiveness. “Father, forgive them.” I think about Stephen being stoned, squeezed by violence, and what came out was grace. “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”
The squeeze test reveals what we’ve been storing in our hearts. And we get to choose what we store there. Every day, in the quiet moments when no one is watching and nothing is pressing, we’re filling our hearts with something. Is it peace? Is it compassion? Is it love? And when the pressure comes, when life squeezes us hard enough that the container breaks, that’s what will come oozing out.
Closing
That Nee Doh cube is in the trash now, and of course I have a replacement.
But I’m trying to squeeze this one more gently. I’m also trying to pay attention to what I’m storing in my heart, because I know the squeeze is coming. It always does. When criticism comes. When things don’t go my way. When inanimate objects refuse to cooperate or my kids test my patience or circumstances apply pressure I didn’t see coming. That’s another true test of character. Not just what I do when no one is watching, but what oozes out when everyone is.
And that’s the question I want us to ask about our leaders too. Not just what they promise when things are calm, but what comes out when they’re squeezed. Because that’s what’s really inside. That’s what’s always been inside.
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Very insightful.
I have to admit that I, too, am frequently not pleased at what is revealed in myself during those squeeze moments.
I think the best thing we can do is give ourselves grace for those moments and do the work to improve so that we can be happier with what is revealed when those moments come.
God bless.
Great reflection.